Help with my husband

Bunnie · Post by **Bunnie** » Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:56 pm

Hi! I am not sure exactly how radfem I am but I really enjoy Sinfest and it's message and am a feminist. My husband seems to enjoy Sinfest too an in a lot of ways espouses the same beliefs I do. There is one thing I cannot seem to get across to him though. I know most men seem to be attracted to some form of pornography. He is one of those men. He is not into what he calls people porn which is pictures or videos of live people. Instead he collects comic porn from deviant art and rule 34. Some of the characters he has collected have been of comic characters who are still under 18 in the comic world. He says it does not subjugate or violate any one or take advantage of anyone because they are just drawings from the animated world. I say it promotes the same feelings towards women in general that regular porn does. I can't seem to break him of this habit. Any suggestions? Keep in mind he is an excellent husband and man in other respects and I love him very much. I just see this as something we need to work on. So if you can give me any respectful arguments that might sway his thinking plese let me know.

Newfish · Post by **Newfish** » Fri Aug 17, 2018 2:02 am

Does advertising work? (If not, why do companies spend so much on it?)

Does the fact that some advertising uses special effects, animations, even cartoons mean that that advertising is ineffective? (If so, why do companies do it?)

Why does he want to advertise misogyny to himself?

Bunnie · Post by **Bunnie** » Fri Aug 17, 2018 7:12 am

Good point. He sees the comic drawings he is collecting as art in the way that you can find nude paintings of men and women in the art museum. Maybe not the same caliber but art nonetheless. I have seen the drawings and I have to say he does only save the ones that are beautifully drawn, it is just hte subject matter that I have a problem with.

Walkie · Post by **Walkie** » Tue Aug 28, 2018 4:55 pm

I'm afraid this is a case of leading the horse to water. If the man is deep enough in denial that he really believes his kink is about the aesthetic value of the pictures, I don't think he will be receptive to rational arguments no matter how sound they are.

I think he needs to become aware of the negative influence that this drawn porn has on him before he will be willing to do something about it. I'd ask him to pay special attention to how this porn might be influencing the things he finds attractive. Maybe it causes him to feel inappropriately attracted to comic characters who are minors even outside the context of his porn? Or maybe consuming this porn causes him to involuntarily sexualize minors around him afterwards? Whatever it is, this porn probably has an impact on him which even he would agree is bad, but he needs to notice it before he will believe it.